THE HABIT OF NOT

THE HABIT OF NOT

NOT - hearing, seeing, being present, living authentically, risking, being kind, slowing down, releasing dead things. The NOTS of life have an enigmatic way of becoming KNOTS, potentially clogging the flow of life like a blood clot in an artery.

STOP! Identify a KNOT that may impede your path to being the healthiest, happiest, and strongest person possible in this season of life.

Is the identified KNOT related to a habit of NOT? Perhaps you were unable to identify anything specific. Continue to contemplate as you read. If you identified a KNOT, what can you do to address the effect of the IT? Do you need help to unravel THE KNOT? Remember, I will never ask you to do what I haven’t tried.

A rare thing is happening in my home; my husband and I are reading the same book. A passage recently compared the life of a caretaker to the life of an alcoholic. The writer postulated that both could become intoxicated with the emotional relief of a need being addressed, albeit temporary. The poisoning may ultimately lead to addiction. The statement, “The care given becomes a drink by which we briefly numb a worthlessness that won’t go away unless constantly doused by another shot of self-sacrifice,” caused me to pause. So did my husband. I thought of the former and current caregivers that I know. My husband thought of me and gave a specific example. We often talk about what we have read. After reading the passage again, I had a hard moment. Had I been so intent on seeing others in the story that I couldn’t see myself? Had I developed a habit of NOT seeing or listening to my heart whisper my personal truths?

My husband’s example pertained to my habits of hospitality. I am hypersensitive about the guest experience in our house. Before their arrival, I try to anticipate wants and needs. Should they arrive without a specific request, I will offer something anyway. Should they have a request, I will give more than is probably necessary.

I am somewhat of an overachiever. Hospitality is one of my gifts. And giving is my love language. Could it be that there is an insecurity surrounding entertaining that I have NOT acknowledged? Could it be that this NOT has spun itself into a KNOT that is an impediment to the full enjoyment of my guest? Could it be that I am trying to prove to myself and others that I am worthy of these gifts and graces on deposit in me? Could it be that I am addicted to the feeling of accomplishment when guests are well pleased? Could it be that in this season of seeking to be unencumbered, feelings of insecurity and worthlessness must be reckoned with and addressed? Could it be that I am to discard this Habit of NOT, so that I can more fully invest in the ebb and flow of life?

Do I think that I am finished with NOT habits? Absolutely not…there are many more. Even If I were tempted to think so, I am surrounded by a village that will point them out. Isn’t that what we are called to do for the people we share life with?

WHAT IS YOUR KNOT?

Matthew 7:3-5

PONDER THIS THOUGHT---Look inward before looking outward.