BOUNDARIES
BOUNDARIES
People who do not know how to set them will often make a habit of crossing yours. Those without boundaries may not see the need or value in creating them for themselves, and what is deemed valueless is rarely respected. If allowed, they will disrupt your routine, distract your focus, and disturb your environment. TRUTH: Their lack of boundaries is not their problem to solve. It becomes my problem when I allow it to invade my peace. Therefore, if it is to be solved, I MUST DO IT.
Strangers and casual acquaintances are seldom the culprits; they usually do not get close enough to cross the line. Those closest to us, however, can present an entirely different matter. Proximity gives access, and access without awareness of boundaries can become challenging.
We are to love neighbors as we love ourselves, which means how I care for myself affects how I care for others. Boundaries created by me and for me help me become the healthiest, happiest, and strongest me possible in this season. They are not walls built from bitterness; they are markers set in wisdom. TRUTH: I am the custodian of my boundaries.
When we became custodians of our home, a fence surrounded the backyard. We did not question why it was there; we appreciated the boundary it created between us and three neighbors. Robert Frost wrote, “Good fences make good neighbors.” Over the years, our fence has been stained, repaired, and eventually replaced.
Relationships need the same attention. They must be refreshed, repaired, and sometimes redefined. “Good boundaries make for great relationships.” Although I would like boundaries to be a shared responsibility, I am ultimately the caretaker of mine. I cannot expect others to recognize the gate if I have not first honored the fence.
What does that look like? I protect my routines like a mother hen because they shape the trajectory of my day. Being vigilant with my boundaries lessens conflict. I know what I can do, when I can do it, and what I must decline to remain whole. I have learned to use the shortest complete sentence, “NO!” and to stand by it—not out of hardness, but out of reverence for the life I am called to steward.
It is not necessary for others to understand my boundaries, nor is it necessary that they respect them—although that would be nice. It is necessary that I understand, value, and respect my need for self-care and self-preservation. To be a good custodian of my boundaries, I must first believe the peace they protect is worthy of protection.
This is another path on my journey toward becoming unencumbered—a journey of choosing peace without apology, guarding what is sacred, and trusting that healthy boundaries do not diminish love; they make room for love to breathe.
CONSIDER THIS: People without boundaries will cross yours.
Excellent. No is a complete answer. Adding more feels like a negotiation and with boundaries, it can't be.
This was good Gwen. I agree with controlling your boundaries.