PATTERNS

PRACTICE: What are one or two harmful habits that you continue to practice?

Shortly after Christmas 2018, I got sick and my body shut down for 2 days. How do I know? I read it in my journal. What happened shortly after Christmas 2019? Same thing but it took a bit longer to recover.

My medical history is available through an electronic portal and it is a journal of sorts as well. I looked at it and saw several blips over the years. One major incident in 2014 stood out like a drop of blood on a white t-shirt. Little pus-filled bumps on my backside prompted a call and visit to see my physician and a mild case of shingles was diagnosed. It was his words following the diagnosis that have stayed with me since, “Tell me, what are you worried about?”

In hindsight, my body had done for me what I was unable to do for myself…shut down for maintenance.

Do you see a pattern? I love Christmas and 2014 was an incredibly fun and stress-filled year. What do I do with the possession of this knowledge about myself?

I have attempted to take a more preventative approach to dealing with stress (good and bad) by acknowledging the stressful situation. Acknowledgment heightens the awareness and makes me more cautious moving forward – I don’t want shingles again and “yes” I have now taken the vaccine.

I have been a bit less successful with my physical health. The pattern of pushing to the brink of total exhaustion and having a crash, needs to stop. It is an unhealthy practice. When I am my best self, I periodically take an imaginary step outside of my body as an interested bystander. My imaginary bystander tells me what they see – “you are overdoing the workouts, the projects, etc.” “This pace is not good for you and you know it.” “This is not a marathon.” The bystander question me, “what would you say to your girlfriend if you saw her doing what you are doing daily?” “Is this a need being filled or your ego being fed.” Need versus ego always stops me in my tracks.

I always listen to my imaginary bystander. I don’t always follow the advice. I always know where I will end up. I don’t know when…

Proverbs 16:18

PONDER THIS THOUGHT--- Most of my harmful habits are ego driven.