GREAT LISTENER

GREAT LISTENER

“Describe someone you admire as a great listener,” was the instruction given in a book that I am currently reading. Improving my listening skills has been a quest of mine for many years and I would like to think that I have worked my way into being a pretty good one. But the question was not addressed to my listening skills. The word, “great,” at first made it a bit difficult to answer the request.

People who talk a lot are generally not great listeners – my opinion. So, I thought of the people in my inner circle – most of them are great conversationist – we all talk - a lot. People who are constantly occupied with their cellphones are generally not great listeners, again - my opinion. The two points became my barometer as an approach searching for my great listener and I added a third – personal experience where great listening was on display. I had my answer.

The mother of two extraordinary boys and wife of one of my favorite people, she moves around my inner circle with grace and dignity, very present, yet hardly noticeable and immediately missed when not present. By no means is she a shrinking violet but is comfortable enough in her skin to observe and listen to all that swirl around her when we are together. She seems to know how to be present and heard without words. Yet when she speaks, it is an “E.F. Hutton” moment. If one should want to know details after a conversation – verbal or nonverbal, check in with her… a woman not given to many words and almost always minus a cellphone. Do you get a visual?

Her great listening skills are just one way she adds value to my life. That statement might seem self-serving but people who do not add value ought to be released to seek out others where they are more likely to do so.

Great listeners ask great questions not quantity of questions. My husband and I invited her to join us when we were to be briefed about the treatment of a serious medical condition – six ears are better than four or two. She sat quietly listening and asked a salient question or two. When we embarked on the journey, it was she that said to us when we questioned an action of the provider, “that’s what you heard but that is not what was said.”

I have been on a quest for better listening skills for years. This amazing mom, wife, trained professionally as an attorney and so much more, is a great listener and has become a great teacher in helping me become a better listener.

One just never knows where one or the other can be found. I found both in the same vessel.

Proverbs 18:2

PONDER THIS THOUGHT --- Epictetus “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

ONE MOUTH