STAY AND WATCH

PRACTICE: Name your best friends.

Every now and then someone will ask me this question, “Who is your best friend?” While I don’t take exception to the question, it is not one that I ask because it is a difficult answer. For years I have answered with the statement, “It depends on the day, time and situation.” Not because of anything catastrophic in my world, I find myself ready to have a more definitive answer should the question be posed to me in the future. Finding clarity led to questions that I pose to you now.

In the deepest and darkest moments of life, who would you ask to be with you – to watch and stay with you? Who in your village would you trust enough to stand in the gap for you when you are not able to stand for yourself? These two questions have me looking at my relationships through a different lens.

What I discovered is this: 1) not all good/best friends are emotionally and spiritually equipped to stay with me and watch with me during times of great need and distress. I don’t think recognizing this fact minimizes the friendship. In fact, I think it adds a layer of honesty to it. To be honest, I am not emotionally and spiritually equipped to do that for every person that I claim as a good friend.

2)I thought that longevity would be a prerequisite but discovered that shared experiences are more important than longevity. Some people fold under pressure. Others feel the pain of another so deeply that objectivity takes a frog’s leap out the window – role reversal happens and the one in need of comfort becomes the comforter. Some friends are not good listeners. Others are afraid of silence. Knowing these things does not diminish the friendship. It does help me to understand who would best meet my needs in the hour of distress.

Why is this important to me and maybe to you? To be the healthy and whole person that I am called to be requires identifying my sources of support. Life has taught me that support is readily available when the sun is shining, and the sky is blue…not so much so when the opposite is happening.

Final thought, would you be surprised if the individuals you choose were not on your best friend list?

Mark 14:33

PONDER THIS THOUGHT ---Good friends are like stars and just like stars some shine brighter than others.