BLOCK HEAD

Practice: Close your eyes! Imagine your head and face minus the ears, no indentations just a smooth surface…a block head.

I know this is an eerie exercise, but I think we can learn a valuable lesson.

I am convinced that all aspects of our personal and communal lives would improve tenfold or greater if we stopped being block heads – yes! Block heads. Lest I offend you with the term, I will write in the first person for the duration.

I received an evaluation from a manager once that rated me “needs improvement” in listening skills. I was not happy (I was upset) and channeled that feeling into a positive action which continues today. I have encouraged those closest to me to look in the listening mirror as well. As a block head, I read your lips with my eyes. With my mouth, I respond to the dialogue we are supposedly having that transitioned quickly to a detailed monologue. Most often I miss the message that is being conveyed because I lack ears and I am not listening.

My manager didn’t call me a block head verbally (grounds for calling human resources), but he was saying figuratively my ears stopped working when “I” became the focus rather than the customer. It was easy to do because my purpose, I thought, for being in front of the customer was to provide a solution even if I didn’t know the problem. Observation of myself taught me that the satisfaction of my needs is the creator of my block head. When me, myself, and I replace “you,” my ears disappear – I am not listening.

Other great creators of block heads are busyness, the culture (everyone is shouting to be heard), noise, impatience, or laziness. What helped me tremendously is a simple question or something like it, “What I think I hear you saying____.” Repeating what I heard clarifies for both me and the speaker if the message received was the message intended and it gives me the opportunity to formulate the appropriate response. That one question puts ears back on the sides of my face.

To be perfectly transparent, learning to really listen to others, hasn’t been easy but it is rewarding. I am closer to achieving the goal expressed in one of Rumi’s writings, “Listen at (from) the center of my chest,” to others.

I think that this holiday season might be a good opportunity to hone your listening skills.

Philippians 2:4

PONDER THIS THOUGHT---Listening well is best executed with ears, eyes, and heart.