ANGRY, CONFUSED, CONFLICTED

As a reference point, I am writing and sharing my thoughts a few weeks after the Uvalde Massacre, a few days post the decision of the Supreme Court to strip away the rights of a female and her physician to decide about her body, a few hours after the reports of over fifty dead bodies found in a tractor trailer and during the January 6th congressional hearings. I am angered by some of this, confused by most of it, and conflicted as to what my response should be to all of it.

The words being written aren’t about gun control, mental illness, the rights of females or immigration laws. They are written as I try to find a landing spot for my feelings of anger, confusion, and a myriad of other emotions. I am writing but I will wait a while to post. The emotions are too raw. Perhaps I will feel differently in a few weeks, perhaps the anger will dissipate, the confusion will be cleared, and the conflict will become untangled.

In my attempt to be well grounded in all my humanness, I am learning to embrace anger as somewhat of a sixth sense. I don’t get to experience it as often (I don’t want to) as the other five, sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch, but anger is a great diagnostic tool. Anger means something has gone terribly wrong in my universe. I don’t get angry about things that don’t matter to me, so I have learned to trust the anger. My Anger is almost never the result of spontaneous combustion. It has marinated in a solution of equal parts of my moral, cultural and spiritual convictions. Full blown anger is reached slowly and methodically.

As good of a diagnostic as anger is for me, I know that misplaced anger can fail me badly. I am a work in progress – anger fails me when I aim its wrath at a particular person or group of people versus a system that has created space for the rampant discord of our current society. Anger fails me when I allow it to lead me to an inappropriate response toward others. Anger fails me when I close my eyes, ears, and heart to others. And anger fails me when I am 100% right and the other is 100% wrong.

So, months later, I still haven’t found a complete resolution to my anger, confusion, and conflict but I certainly feel better having shared my thoughts with you. What do you do with these emotions?

Ephesians 4:26

PONDER THIS THOUGHT---Use anger wisely and share its wisdom widely.